EMPTY SPACES CAN BE SO LOUD
I’ve got nothing to say but I have this nagging feeling that I got to write something today. During those months that I wasn’t able to publish anything on this blog, a lot of things were going on. And I’d say a lot! I didn’t even had time to process most things. Milestones and events happened fast, without warning.
Yesterday, I was tired like I’ve never been in a long while. Sleepless nights which easily wear me down, turbulent flight, my own weak health had managed to catch up on me that I was getting even more tired while taking a rest. Do you also experience that weird feeling? Good thing it was a Sunday and it’s a must for me to go to church and draw strength from where it can really be found. I mustered the will to get out of bed, take a bath, and continue living my life. It felt like it paused for a few hours. Or months?
I can’t complain how some of the things I draw happiness from had to take a back seat this past few months. I had to adapt and concentrate on my job which has never been this promising. I will not downplay the achievements and successes we had so far because that would be downplaying the efforts of all those who are in our team and everyone who has been helping and supporting us. I can’t really talk much about what I do as most things are confidential. I’d go to different and exciting meetings and all I can share are the food we’ve eaten and nothing more. I trust that the best days are yet to come but these past 6 months constitutes the peak of my career so far. I have new realities now.
I’m learning a lot of things in life in the process but maybe the most important is that I am not perfect and the quest to better myself is a lifelong process. I have to be patient and forgiving with my self each time I fall from the expectations I had set for me. The things I learned in the past, I had to apply now, everyday. I also have to keep reminding myself to live in the moment because unlike before I don’t have much time and energy to look back nor look too far ahead. Just take one day at a time and if I can afford it, take it slow.
At the end of the day, I find happiness in making other people happy. I have to reprimand myself sometimes when I feel like I’m not being treated well but that’s just the way I am. Love doesn’t have to be reciprocated to make sense. Also, whatever bad there is in this world, it shouldn’t change me. Whatever the question is, love is the answer.
It’s my constant prayer for God not to leave my side whatever I do. I know He does so I would often rephrase it immediately and say, please always make me see and feel Your presence everywhere. God is faithful plus last moth, I got introduced to St. Rita,too. Knowing her for such a short time has already made a big impact in my life. I think I’ve experienced a miracle which involved a sting-less bee but I’ll reserve that as that’s another story.